As horrifying as it, most people know that Black women have the highest mortality rate in the US. Some have even heard that Black girls are 5x more likely to be suspended than White girls. But things like the adultification or hypersexualization of Black girls is accepted in a casual and deeply disturbing way. Black women and girls are disproportionately at risk of sexual violence; have the highest rates of heart disease; and unsurprisingly report higher levels of stress than their counterparts. From housing insecurity to police violence, Black Women are under attack! Join us this Friday a we talk public safety and “The Urgent Need to Protect Black Women and Girls” with our featured speakers:
Ashana Bigard - Chief Executive Director at Education Justice Project New Orleans
Nicole Deggins - Certified nurse midwife, birth advocate, black doula trainer, and community educator
Dr. Ashonta Wyatt - Instructional leader and Principal Consultant at A.Wyatt Solutions Group
Enlight, Unite, & Ignite!
Quick Links: Notes, Zoom Chat, Community Announcements
Notes
Pepper Roussel: Good morning. One Rouge, thank y'all for being here. You know how much I love y'all spending part of your Friday mornings with me. I am super excited about this talk mainly because it directly impacts me and my everyday and I've got some folks who are neck deep in making sure that we do exactly what we say we do, and we are who we say we are.
And so we'll start this morning with Dr. Ashonta Wyatt, who. Interestingly enough, we can make a really discreet segue from court decisions around Parkland to what Dr. Wyatt does on her daily basis. And what does it look like to protect black people, black children, all children, but specifically black women and children.
Dr. Wyatt, your five minutes starts now. Let us know who you are, what you do, and how we can be involved.
Dr. Ashonta Wyatt: Good morning, everybody. I'm actually honored to be here. I'm, I, listen, you have to be really special to get me up talking this early in the morning. But I am Dr. Ashonta Wyatt. I consider myself a social justice advocate an advocate for children specifically black children. And I say that with my entire chest because our kids are just so unprotected on every front, especially in the educational realm where in the city such as New Orleans we are the only city in the entire country that has a school system that is 100% charter.
That is 100% given us everything that they the opposite of what they promised to us. And my goal is to make certain that if nothing else, children have an advocate, and children have a voice. And that is what I do as my life's work. I live and breathe education, social justice children. That is what I do every single day.
And I'm very honored to finally be able to talk about girls because most of the time I'm talking about black boys because I'm always dealing with this the injustice around the mass incarceration of our children and the miseducation of our kids. With this school-to-prison pipeline that we have that disproportionately affects black boys.
But in that conversation, we often overlook the health, wellness, and safety of black girls. And so I'm just honored to have this conversation, to start, to have this conversation, be a part of this conversation. But in a nutshell, I am a fierce defender of black children, and I live and breathe that responsibility.
So that's who I am. Thank you.
Pepper Roussel: Thank you, ma'am. And so onto Ashana Bigard, Ms. Bigard, who are you?
Ashana Bigard: Wow. I am a native New Orleanian mother of three. I feel I don't know, it's early in the morning, so I am a director of Amplify Justice. I've been a part of Erase the Board Coalition a lot. I used to be a part of a lot of, I can't think, I can't think in the morning, I'm sorry y'all, but a lot of justice work around women and girls, but a lot of times it was mostly white women and it seemed that a lot of the needs of my community were not being brought to the forefront.
Cause when we're talking about reproductive justice, that's the word that skipped my brain. When we were talking about reproductive justice, often we weren't having conversations around early childcare respite. What does it look like to have even a medical advocate to watch your children while you get a checkup if you're a single mother?
Things like that, that mothers in my community want to be brought to the forefront as a part of reproductive justice. So I have been out of that space, but very much in the space of talking about what's happening with black women and girls. Of course, what's happening with. Black children cuz I, I have the honor and the pleasure.
So first of all, thank you for inviting me. Thank you Pepper. The honor of knowing such incredible women. I'm honored. Dr. Wyatt, I have the honor of working with her and doing advocate some advocacy and around education and justice work. And I'm lucky and I feel wonderful in the fact that I get to work with such incredible people.
But the fact that we're dealing with the statistics and numbers and what is happening to our people is horrific. And that's my work is to try to bring that to the forefront, educate people and hopefully educate more decision-makers on the things they could do to prevent it. Cuz a lot of this is not rocket science, it's just simply caring and putting forth the effort to make changes.
Small changes can have big results if you're willing to put forth the effort. So that's what a lot of the work that I do and I do with Dr. White and erase the board coalition as well as we all do work separately. In different areas and avenues. And I work, I also do training. So if anybody needs to unpack white privilege or anything like that...
Pepper Roussel: so thank you ladies. I appreciate it. We'll, I'll also be talking with Nicole Deggins, who is a doula trainer. And she will be on a little bit later on. She had a conflict, but Sherreta I hope that you go and get your coffee because we about to jump in, jump straight into it. My first question is as Morgan mentioned, Misogynoir in the chat, and both of y'all work through some level of education.
Frame a picture for me of what does misogynoir look like for black women and girls in education?
Ashana Bigard: Wow. So a lot of it has to do with the fact that there's no educational on boundaries for anybody. But particularly black girls are painted as sassy or disruptive or rude whenever they try to advocate for themselves.
The massaging war is built into the systems a lot of times because they attract girls in a certain direction. And a lot of times, like when Depo first started being given to girls and there was a rise in juvenile crime, nobody bothered to see if there was anything going wrong with this rise in juvenile crime.
Nobody bothered to say one of the very things on the warrant on the side effects for the depo was increased behavior. Bipolar disorder, it looks like bipolar disorder because of the hormone shift, but nobody bothered to look at it. It was just all these black girls with this attitude. So massaging while a lot of times shows up in systems as this just overlooking of girls and not diagnosing girls it's so hard to diagnose girls with autism and depression cuz depression looks different in black girls and women. And it's just it's just this, not that they do a good job of diagnosis overall. And a lot of times when it comes to sexual harassment, the boys will be boys. And now the new thing of like creating an a mean, it's in a space of trying to create equity.
I think people aren't thinking through like creating unisex bathrooms. Unisex bathrooms seem like a good idea, but when it comes to high school boys and raising hormones and girls happen to be in a bathroom with them it goes negative on the impact of the girls, the unisex bathrooms. And so what needs to happen to shift that?
I don't know. I think we need to do some research. I think we need to create maybe three bathrooms or to have a unisex bathroom option and a girl's bathroom and a boy's bathroom and. Let people who are in transition, who identify going to the restroom, they want to, whatever, but something needs to happen where the impact does not directly negatively impacting girls.
Cuz I'm hearing reports from NOCCA and some other schools. It is not good.
Pepper Roussel: Dr. Wyatt, you came off mute, so talk to me.
Dr. Ashonta Wyatt: I did. But, messaging looks women, girls not being represented. When we create policy around schools, right?
Something as simple as a dress code, you can see all through the dress code because girls have this overly inflated obligation to monitor what they look like and how they show up and how they appear so that they're not infringing upon the spaces of men and boys, right? I've seen school policies, talk about how girls ought to dress to not entice the male staff if these are real-life stories that we're dealing with.
And when you talk about massaging wise, it's nothing. It's making certain that girls and women, their voices are heard and they're seated at the table where policy decisions are made. And oftentimes we're not, oftentimes we're told, how to show up. And a lot of the times Audrey Lord says, if I don't define myself for myself, then I'm crunched into other people's fantasies of who I am and I'm eating alive.
And that is what's happening to women and girls in this world. Basically, we have a lot of men dictating to us on a policy level how we should govern ourselves. Even for something as egregious as rape. One of the defenses of a lot of men is, if she didn't want to be treated that way, she shouldn't have dressed that way.
She shouldn't look that way. And I'm, I push back and I say, I should be able to look and show up as my full self. It's not my fault that you can't govern yourself accordingly. And so we talk about misogyny in schools. It's no different than how it looks in the world, how it looks, on tv, we're always made out to be These damsels of distress who can't like protect ourselves, but we can.
And then the moment we can, then we're labeled as something else. Aggressive, hyper-independent. We don't know how to submit. And all of that is tied into this ideal that women are supposed to be unequal to men, and we see that in the way we're paid, right? We're still fighting for the money to match our output when it comes to our male counterparts, we still are fighting to have.
The main seat at the table in term of governmental structure that the country's still not ready for a female president. So they pacify us with things like a vice president seat, but they overlook us time and time again when we talk about a woman running this country because they always wanna associate our ability to our inability for us to govern our emotions.
And I would say, if a woman can bear children and we can create life, then surely we can run a country and we can't do any worse than the men who've already been given an opportunity. So massaging why, for me, shows up in policy. It shows up in legislation. And until we actually start to dissect those things, what we see from day to day won't ever change.
We have to legislate differently. We have to create policy different. And then that's the that's when you really will see a change in people's ideas about. Holding space for women and girls and protecting women and girls in these spaces and uplifting women and girls in those spaces and empowering them to lead and to thrive.
So yeah, that's what it looks like to me. Thank you, ma'am. I appreciate both of your comments. I am reminded of an article that came out not that long ago about a teacher who wasencouraging inappropriate behavior with a, with students, a student in particular who happened to have been a black girl. And the reason I bring up her race is because black women are 15, black women and girls are 15 times more likely, less likely to report sexual violence. Black girls are four times more likely to be victims of sexual violence.
And so help me understand as educators of folks who have worked in these spaces, There was a comment also, with the chat, in the chat, excuse me. The comment that these men are targeting our girls. Help me understand what is this landscape that black girls and even women are more vulnerable?
Is it just policy or is it some combination of things? It's a combination of things. And when you the first thing that I thought about as you were talking say, I know the exact case you're talking about they're targeted for number one because the assumption is that there's no male figure in the home.
There's not a man to protect them. And so we could talk about how that happens and we could talk about systems that create opportunities for fathers and mothers not to be joined in a black home together, and how the welfare system perpetuated that. We could talk about that, but a lot of the times black girls are hypersexualized.
And they're targeted for such things because a if the perpetrator has no thought to the male protection they see them as prey. They see them as easy targets. One of the first things when that mother of the case, you're talking about approach the man to talk about him.
His sending the explicit text to her daughter, the first thing he said to the mom was she was also talking to me. She was asking me for money, a as if to justify it. She's the child, he's the adult. And a lot of the
times our women and our girls are put in situations where it's desperation and it's trying to financially afford things and financially stay afloat.
And yeah, they tend to go off and do things that are beneath what we would want them to be doing. But as black men our thought is that. Even if our dads aren't there, we won't be exploited by another black man. Like you will step in and protect. That's what we hope for other black men.
But black men oftentimes exploit the idea that they know black fathers aren't in the home, so their girls are easy targets for this. So yeah, it's a, it's plethora of things. But I think policy to me is important because when we talk about the lack of protection for children, black girls in schools, that's a policy thing for me.
You, you have to create policy that protects them. But when we're talking about the lack of. A familial structure or how the black man shows up for his family. Yes. That is a number of things that contribute to the father not being in a home, to the girls feeling exploited. I am one of those girls.
I never had my daddy ever, I knew who he was, just never had him. And I understand what that feels like. I understand how that impacts, how that impacted me. And so I look at it from a lens of not only being an expert in my field, but I look at it from a lens of lived experiences. And so that is what dictates my work.
My lived experiences dictate how I show up for children. My lived experiences teach me how to interact with black girls who do not have fathers because I was a black girl who did not have a father. My lived experience teaches me or guides me when I deal with black boys and everything that they're going through.
Because I watched, it all happened with my brother when they killed his father at three years old, he had a daddy killed him. And so the, it's cyclical. And yeah, it's a number of things and I'm sure there's people on the call who could add to that. But for me, I always want to target policy because policy trickles down and it ultimately starts to impact what we do in our homes.
And yes, it is a number of things. It is very layered and I think the absence of the black father and the lack of policy around protection of our girls are two factors that contribute to that.
Ashana Bigard: So I just wanna add to that exactly cuz there was a policy created, there was a one thing that the only two things you co
uldn't have in the projects because of the policy was a dad and a dog, right?
They would literally send social workers into look for male clothing in the home. And if the mother was caught with a man in her home, whether that was her husband, fiance father, her children, she was not only gonna get put out of her unit, but she would lose other benefits cuz the benefits were connected like her Medicaid, et cetera.
So that was a policy where I was running up, cause I grew up in a housing project also fatherless. But to go back to the cultural thing, like we, we brand black girls fast, and where does that come from? First of all, it's been a thing, it came from slavery. It came from justifying the rape of black women and girls.
Even after Jim Crow, when we were, they were made in people's homes, et cetera. There was a time that you could rape or abuse black people on the street without them being able to go to the law. And even if they did, what would happen to this day? It is hard to get a successful rape case prosecuted, right?
For every what is it? A hundred cases. Most of them do not get successfully prosecuted. We don't have federal protection. There is no witness protection. In the city, in the state of Louisiana, we don't have that. So if you pro, if you testify against somebody, even if they are like sent to jail, like there, there's no, there is no protection for you.
But even if you go farther, we talk about like the branding of girls being fast. We need to think about like the mixed messages. Also our community gets, cuz on one hand, and again this was when I was with reproductive justice, people weren't thinking through sex. Work is work. I understand. We want to make sure that sex workers aren't looked at a certain way as stigmatized.
Yes. But then who are the sex workers? So black women and girls are 7.5% of the population, but we are 54% of all traffic, sex traffic cases. We are 44% of all prostitutes. And it's funny, you have to really look at it. When the Harvey Weinstein incident happened and there was the young actresses and some of 'em were actually raped, but some of 'em felt pressured into having sex with him for their careers and they were victims.
And I stand by that they were victims. If someone told you, if you don't have sex with this man, you can't have your career, you can't have a job, and you felt pressured and bullied, then you're a victim. But then how is she a victim? But the 15-year-old girl who's selling herself to get food and a roof is a worker.
That's a mixed message. Who gets to be victims and who's a sex worker? What the commodification of black flesh is So branded as a part of the American conversation till the protection of sex workers we're talking about legalizing it, but we never had a conversation about protecting sex workers.
So we know that sex, just in general, if you look at porn, it's gotten way more violent. And I have people I talk to who are sex workers. My sister was a stripper in the industry for 10 years. So she was a sex worker. And she will say a lot of the things they do in safe to sex workers are things that they don't do in safe.
To their wives and girlfriends. We know that sex overall has gotten more violent. So how much more violent has it gotten for sex workers? And we're not talking about sex trafficking and pimps. Are we building shelters to protect women? Are we making sure that they have free access to healthcare for gynecological care?
No, we're just saying we're not gonna arrest John's. And what does that mean and how does that benefit our community? And what does that say? What is the secret message is sending? So it's yeah, we wanna de-stigmatize sex work, but we wanna make it so that black women and girls are not disproportionately trafficked, abused and feel like they have to be sex workers to eat.
Or better than that. If 54% of those trafficked people are black women and girls, why isn't there a protection? Why isn't there a catchment? What? What's going on? So it is, it's a lot of, and it does go back to a lot of times policy and the mixed messages. We stand up who gets to be victims, and let's be real, nobody is sending young girls out of high expensive private schools to go be sex workers.
And a lot of times when they have 'em on television or, talking about bills, a lot of them are sugar babies who get to choose their clients, not the people who are getting raped and beat up all the time.
Pepper Roussel: You're just making me so happy to have this conversation on this fine Friday morning. I do want to, because I'm about to go down a rabbit hole and I need to pull myself back just a little bit. Nicole Deggins has considered the ch the room, so where are you ma'am? I do wanna hear from this.
If you don't mind, we've been talking about girls who are girl, women and girls who are in education spaces who are already, good and grown. But as a doula trainer, there are many different ways in which black women and girls are at risk before the rest or before, during all that happens.
So help us understand who you are, what you do, and how protection of black women and girls is important to you.
Nicole Deggins: Yes. Good morning. Thank you so much for having me. So yeah, my name is Nicole. I am the founder and CEO of System Midwife Productions. We are birth justice training and consulting agency based in New Orleans, but we do work statewide and nationwide. And when I think about there are so many different directions that I could go inside of this conversation, right from preconception care to how we are treated, just being in existence as black women and girls throughout society, what that looks like for our wellbeing in general, and specifically how that's connected to how we enter pregnancy and birth.
So if we think about right now there is this conversation around black maternal health. And a lot of times you'll hear the term that says We are in a black maternal health crisis. But the one thing I wanna first pause and correct that and say that the reali
ty is across the United States, we are in a maternal health crisis period.
But when America has a cold, black America has pneumonia. So while we have an, we have a maternal health crisis across the country, the people who are suffering the most, as always, with all things, whether we're talking housing or education or healthcare disparities, we know that black women and black girls are suffering the most.
So we look at one of the key indicators for good outcomes in terms of pregnancy and birth on the other end is preconception health. One of the things that we have figured out from the research, the data shows us that socioeconomic status, that education, that even having prenatal care in the traditional sense of prenatal care is not the thing to improve birth outcomes.
The one of the main things that improves outcomes is addressing the systemic racism that is happening across our country that impacts us from birth. And even if I could take a step back, since we're talking about going to the root of the thing, right? If we can go back to when I was a fetus inside of my mother, and my mother was living as a black woman in America, dealing with all of the things that she had to deal with as a black woman in America.
And then I was born into this world as a black girl in America, and I lived my entire existence under the auspices of patriarchy and racism. As a result, my telomeres are shorter. As a result, I'm more likely to have high blood pressure. As a result, I'm less likely to be able to afford a midwife or afford a home birth.
As a result, I am more likely to have diabetes. I'm less likely to have access to good foods. I'm less likely to have access to providers who will look like me, right? Because I'm forced to go to the learning hospital institutions where they don't know my name, where they don't look in my face, where they don't ask me how I'm doing, where they don't care about my life and my family holistically, where they're literally just barely touching me.
I've heard stories that blow my mind sometimes where I'm a young black woman seeking prenatal care and I 30 weeks, it's a real story, y'all. I'm 30 weeks pregnant. I have a doula now, and if you don't know what a doula is a non-medical provider who supports families during pregnancy, birth, and a postpartum period.
They're non-medical. They're like your sister, cousin, auntie. I like to say all know somebody who's a doula, even if they don't have the title of doula. This woman had gotten a doula. She was very young, 23 years old or whatever, and she was, just had a rough life, man should be rough sometimes for people.
And so this doula started connecting with her and helped her switch providers when she went to the next provider, the next, the second provider touched her belly and the young girl thought that something may have been wrong because her previous provider had never touched her. And so she looks at her doula in kinda concerned, do you think everything is okay?
Because they never touched me. Literally story. And then when they do touch us, they touch us with a different type of aggression, a different type of attitude, less gentle, less caring, less hearing. So those are the kind of things that we're dealing. When we look at the maternal mortality rate across the country and across the state, we are the only industrialized country across the world that has a rising maternal mortality rate.
Louisiana is one of the most deadly places to give birth. That said, we have to also understand that not that many people die. There are very few people who do die, but when they do die, we say that 60 to 80% of those deaths are preventable. And the deaths are caused by negligence. They're caused by racism.
They're also caused by socio-demographic factors. They're caused by domestic violence. They're caused by mental health issues. They're caused by a whole conglomerate of things. So I don't know if that is what you wanted me to lead in with, but that's what I got for you at this moment, baby. Yes, I am here for all of it, and it, the chat has been blowing up all morning long, so I know full well everybody else is here for it too.
Pepper Roussel: And there is just, So much, so many different ways to go. Now, there is a question in the chat that came early on to co-op. I know where you at, Ms. Boatner. I need you to come off mute and unpack a little bit of, there we go. Can we talk about how women have been socialized to use the language of sex work when teaching our girls however to relate to men?
Tekoah Boatner: Good morning Pepper. It's too early in the morning for that.
How you doing? And Dr. Wyatt. Hey Zara. So as I work with girls and I work with youth. And what I remember, which is why I have such a really difficult time with the word trafficking because I remember as a school-age kid growing up. With women who, and my mom was one of them, who taught us girls if you are going to be with a man, make sure that he can provide before you do X, Y, Z, they need to be giving you X, Y, Z.
And what we don't realize is that we are setting our youth up for transactional relationships. And unfortunately in our society, transactional relationships are necessarily tied to power dynamics because of the capitalist foundations that we move our commerce on. And as long as we continue to use that language, our girls are not actually being empowered to focus on themselves and their abilities and their health and what they need.
They're focused on trying to play and maintain the power dynamics and interpersonal relationships with opposite-gender individuals. Because of course, no one is teaching women and girls about this as it relates to same-sex relationships, cuz that's like whole other issue. And I'm gonna stop their pepper cuz you put me on soap boxes and I don't get off of them.
Pepper Roussel: You are in good company this morning. You are in very good company this morning with soap boxes and how to protect black girls. So do not feel as if you need to get off a soapbox in any way, shape or form. So ladies our panelists, do y'all have any ideas of how it is that we can adjust the language that we use as we specifically talk to black girls about relationships with men?
Seeing as how that is not the same re same language that we use. So we talk about relationships with women.
Ashana Bigard: I think that it's very important that. We stop I feel like a lot of the language used where girls is around this idea of not only partnering with men but being codependent with men and you wanna be a good wife Cetera, et cetera.
And other thing is, I feel like we constantly compare ourselves, and I wanna say this is on the right and the left, conservatives and Democrats, super liberal, super conservative, all constantly as black people, we will compare ourselves to white people, which is unfair because I tell people the big difference between Karenne Stefan and Kim Kardashian is race.
They both slept with multiple men in the industry. They both did a lot of the same things. One of them is Superhead and the other one is a billionaire. So a, we have to get, we have to reassess our language as we talk to girls and boys. Yes. We have to tell them the truth. We have to give them ownership. We have to tell our sons, if you wanna attract a partner, male or female or other, you have to be a better person.
You have to be kind, you have to be gentle. You have to be generous. I understand. And tell our children where it comes from. And I know it might be a little controversial, but you say, to even say, Hey, you know what the protector provider role came from? The fact that women, women and people who can give birth have need downtime.
So we, so in a space where you don't have a community, where you don't have, sisters and cousins, if you're gonna ask someone to give birth for you, then you probably need to be able to take care of them bills for at least six months to a year. Because literally their bodies need to heal.
And that's where it comes from. That's where the whole. Interdependent thing comes from, but as black women, we were actually never given the opportunity to heal mentally, physically, spiritually, right? So we were in the field, we had the baby, we had to go back in the field three days later. And so that's why we come from this work superwoman.
We can't do it all drop dead early mentality. So it needs to be a whole conversation of why, how do we get here? And why that doesn't, that shouldn't exist anymore, right? No, it is not okay for Mr. Johnny to come and date my 15-year-old daughter. And where what are we gonna do as a community where we see, I don't know, miss Linda, who has six kids, she cannot pay her electric bill.
And Mr. Johnny's looking at her 15-year-old daughter and her 15-year-old daughter said, Mr. Johnny got a nice truck. So what are we gonna do as a community to not put people in a situation where they have to. Going to sex work. Cuz oftentimes, like the young lady just said, just before me, that is the situation.
It's survival mode. But we literally have black millionaires, billionaires, social aid, pleasure clubs, all these structures that should be helping our community so that we'll not be the case for us. And we have to understand that we are connected. And yes, it is different. It's different. We shouldn't be teaching our children to be over-conservative.
That's not a healthy mindset. But also my black daughter is black. She's still black in this society. She will be shamed in a way that her friend who is Caucasian will not. And that is a reality. Like we have to find our middle ground and that's my perspective. And of course, people are welcome to have others, but I so often see on both extreme ends, the over-conservative parent child being harmed, the super-liberal parent not understanding that their child is not being attacked.
Because you just told them sex was like exercising. You will have it with anybody. But you have a black daughter. She is not Kim Kardashian. She's Karen Stefan. And I wish I could say it had changed, but it hasn't. We're here.
Nicole Deggins: I'd like to piggyback a little bit on what Eshauna was sharing, which is like really brilliant in terms of this conversation around how this dependency started, right?
In terms of we're having children and then now we're not working even though yeah. So we're not working. And part of that is because we really have, we really were forced. After enslavement and all of these things, right? We are forced and we're still living in this false narrative of the nuclear family.
Even though the nuclear family has been destroyed and demolished, we know it doesn't work. Intergenerational families and community is what works. So whether I'm dependent on my mama, my grandma, my aunties, or the man, at some point after I give birth, I have three or four children all under the age of five.
I do need a different type of assistance. But if we were living more communally, and that does not mean that we have to all live in the same house. But even when I was a young girl, my grandmother lived on Desmond Street, all of her sisters, all of them lived on Desmond Street in the lower ninth Ward with them walking distance of each other, all of them.
And so all of the cousins lived, and all of the aunties lived, and everybody lived. And exactly h Helena just said, we are not supposed to be so isolated in life in general. Because even if you're being abused, even if there's something happening, if I can't tell my mother because she's not trustworthy, I can tell my auntie or the lady next door is someone else.
If I have these other relationships, let me backtrack. Now, I have a daughter. My daughter is almost nine years old, and I am struggling with this thing right here, right? Trying to figure out, because she thinks he is cute and that is cute, and I need to be cute. Who wants to do these different things? And I'm like amazed.
You're eight and a half, right? And so the one thing I always say to her, number one is, are they kind? And I don't even wanna know if they're nice. Are they kind? Are they a good person? I don't care if they're cute. I tell her all the time. Anybody can be cute, but are they kind? I talk to my daughter often about, or try, I, I'm trying to balance this thing, right?
So she has this thing where she wants to dress cute. She wants to tie a knot in her shirt. She wants to wear half-crop tops. And I remember one day really having a wake-up call from myself. We're on our way to dinner. She wants to tie her shirt at the back so her belly can show. And I'm like, why do you wanna do that?
And she says, because it's cute. And I'm like, okay. And all of these stars are floating in my mind about why. And I was like I don't want you to wear that shirt like that. And she says, why? And I had to sit with that and think to myself, the reason why has nothing to do with her being an eight-year-old girl.
It's not because now she, you've done nothing wrong. And in fact, when I grew up in the seventies, that's how we dress. We had bell bottoms that rolled on hips and we had little shirts with your belly out that does not make someone a predator or a rapist or does not make you more prone to sex trafficking or any of these things.
And so when I realized that my reasoning for not wanting her to wear that shirt was for reasons from my mindset from years ago that had nothing to do with this moment, I said, I worry about it. Wear your shirt. How you wanna wear your shirt? She ate. But I always come back to is because you're kind.
And then I wanna mention an article that I read that I thought was very telling one day and it is about this moment being cute and being pretty and all of these things. And it was a father who had written this article and he talked about how when our girls are little, All we do is talk about how cute in Princess and cute in Princess and cute in Princess, and the way that they get hugs and kisses and a dollar from Papapa is because they're cute and they're a princess.
But somewhere around 11, 12, 13 years old, that thing begins to change. And now we don't want them to be so cute or princessy, but they have already been indoctrinated into this notion of, if I am cute and acting like a princess, I get things. So we really have to, from the beginning, begin to cultivate a new understanding of how we show up in the world as girls.
It's funny because the sister was saying how, she learned from her mother if you're dating a man, you got, you make sure that you learn how to get something from her. My mother was the exact opposite. And I grew up as a young woman in my twenties being like how y'all got stuff my mama told me from day one.
I asked my neighbor for a dollar a quarter and she slapped me and she said, don't you ever. Ask a man for nothing. And she, her wrote to me was, if you ask for something and you get something, they gonna want something back. And she made it sound like it wasn't nothing good. And so I up literally never wanting anything from anybody cuz I'm self-sufficient, right?
And so there is this interesting balance that we have to learn because even in a relationship, regardless of the relationship, it's a give and take. You give, I receive, I give and you receive. And so this notion of you don't need nothing from nobody is also unhealthy. And so how do we find that balance in between both of those spaces so that we can set healthy boundaries, know our rights, and be able to walk in empowerment for ourselves.
Pepper Roussel: I will echo a comment in the chat, "Come through". Yes, y'all. Thank you so much. All right, so there is a lot going on in the chat. Most of it is echoing some of the things that are, that we are talk, that y'all are talking about here. I don't wanna go too far into just the problem, but how do we go about protecting our black women and girls?
We are in a space where black women and black girls are constantly under some sort of attack. Just the sexualization of black girls that starts at seven and eight years old. There is no way, and granted I've never been a man, but there is no way you are going to convince me that a man looks at a girl who's 10, 11 years old just because she's wearing a short skirt or a tied t-shirt and believes that she's an adult.
That is just crazy talk. So what do we need to do? How do we get to a place that whether they are in school, they're at some sort of extracurricular activity, they're in the workforce, they're us. How do we protect ourselves? How do we protect our girls? How do we protect our sisters?
Tekoah Boatner: I don't know that you asked me, but I'm gonna, I don't feel like typing anymore, so I'm gonna say it. I think that in terms of protecting I hope that with the recent funding announcement of us redefining what a mandated reporter is, we need to do the same when it across the board.
And what we need is, People who are watching systems, not people mandated. Reporters are trained to look at a person's behavior and determine whether or not they need to be reported. But are we actually going into our schools, our hospitals, looking at how people are treated when they're in and out and saying this and taking action from there and going, you know what?
This is an unsafe place and we do not want our kids, our women, our girls being treated here. One thing we do is vet providers. Like people call us all the time we wanna work with kids. That's fine. Let's talk. Let's talk first because I don't know that you are healed enough to do the work that we need and we need more.
Watch, watch watchful people for these systems.
Ashana Bigard: I just wanna echo what you said about being healed enough. And the other thing we have to do is we have to stop keeping secrets. Like we have a lot of community secrets, we have a lot of family secrets, we have a lot of secrets. Everybody and I'm surprised to find this out, but even when I was in high school, there was a molester coach, right?
There was always like everybody knew that's that person. The rape a man, that person, the rape a man, that person does this and that, and a third. We have to do more conversations like this. We have to make it okay for a young woman to even come and tell. Even cuz a lot of times the 14-year-old is having sex with the coach.
But she is scared because she knows if she comes forward, she's gonna get targeted. She's gonna get a scarlet letter, Brandon, on her. She will not be seen as a child. She will. It will be like what did you do? Why did you put yourself in that situation? Even though her coming forward, we could keep another child from being groomed.
We could get healing for her. And we have to even discuss, again, back to policy. What does healing look like? Why can't we get mental health resources in high schools who are truly trained to help our children with these situations? But also just boundary trainings for everybody. Everybody needs to know like that.
We need to be reeducating ourselves in all of these different spaces and assessing our own trauma so that we don't duplicate. Cuz a lot of times when we're teaching our children come from a place of trauma, how we've been harmed and how we overprotect. So how do we balance to echo what Nicole said, how do we balance and create those spaces and constantly have these conversations and what does accountability look like?
Not only in systems and policies, but in our community groups and our organizations because we are a people whose past stories we pass things orally as far as, oral traditions and what you should do and how we should parent. So all of that, it can change, but we have to do a lot of work.
Nicole Deggins: A lot of work and I think it really does. We have to teach our children, all of our children, from day one about boundary boundaries and bodily protections. I remember going to the bookstore and buying, I was asking, do you have a book? My daughter was maybe three, two or three, and I asked them, do you have a book about good touch, bad touch?
And they were like, oh my God, did something happen? No, aint nothing happened. But we need to start having these conversations. What do you mean you talking about I told my daughter from day one, we're in the bathtub. This is your body. I never made her hug. Nobody. She don't wanna hug. And when children don't wanna hug me and the mom, I'm like no.
Don't let your children say no. Let them ex exert their power and their control over their, for their bodily autonomy. That's how we teach. And it is an interesting dynamic because I'm breastfed for three years and it was a long, interesting experience. And one of the things that I learned though, is I was able to teach her body autonomy by exerting my own body autonomy.
Because as she got to be older and still pulling at me for the breast, I was able to say, no, not right now. This is mommy's body, just this is your body. So it was like an educational time for me that I never even knew was going to come out of being an extended breastfeeding breast feeder. But saying no, teaching them and then we have to be as Shauna talked about, the secrets in the families, I got secrets in my family and the secrets have to stop, right?
If y'all know this person is a predator, he don't need to come over for Christmas dinner. Stop letting these people come into our family community spaces touching people, boys and girls doing what they're doing. Why are we still inviting them to the family reunion and to the picnic? And why are we still excusing them and allowing it to happen?
Why are we not calling them on the carpet? I have a person that I know that is close to me in blood and they want, they were meeting my daughter. I said, just one moment. I need you to know when you meet my daughter, you can shake her hand and that will be it. Do not hug my daughter. Don't even look at it too long.
Don't even look at it too long. Not on my watch. You understand? And we have to be willing to have those hard conversations. It was not an easy thing for me to say to this person because of the bloodline that there is. But I knew that I had to don't touch my daughter. Don't even, you can say, Hey, from across the room, that's a wrap.
Don't get too comfortable. And I think that's the thing. And I think that we also have to encourage healing. There are adult women who were traumatized, who had abuse, who do not know how to protect their daughters because of the trauma that they're still experiencing. I have plenty experiences where I say, mama, this person is making me uncomfortable.
My mama, my uncle, or whoever. They believed me and they heard me and they intervened. I see my life. I can look back at my lifetime and see all of the places where things could have gone a whole different direction. But my mama and my uncle believed me when we was at Christmas and I said, Mr. Anthony from next door was making me uncomfortable when they put him out.
We have to believe I was girls when they're telling us things at the schools, at the church, at the playground, in the Social Aid and Pledger Club, if they say somebody did it. And if somebody is pregnant at 12, 13, 14 years old, by all means this rape. I'm telling you, number one, period.
Stop saying she was fast. She was this, she was that. There is no fastness. There is not enough fastness in the world that can make a 12-year-old girl be pregnant for a 16-year-old boy. For an 18-year-old young man for a 21-year-old, there is not enough fastness in the world. We have to stop turning up our nose, judging and instead support and extend love and get information so that we can get these predators off the streets.
Pepper Roussel: Amen. Amen. Dr. Wyatt, I know that you do a lot of work with boys, and there's a question in the chat who is working and talking to our men and boys about their thoughts and behaviors so that they respect us?
Dr. Ashonta Wyatt: There are a lot of organizations doing work with boys. There's Silverbacks, there's Son of a Saint.
There are a number of organizations that are going into schools talking to boys. But I think the disconnect with a lot of things is we Exclude parents from a lot of these conversations. Simply giving birth to children does not make you equipped to parent. And a lot of the times we're asking parents to do things that they are not equipped to do.
And so I often tell people the same resources that you extend to children, you might wanna consider extending it to their parent or to their parental figures because we're assuming that these families have the capacity to do the things that we are requiring of them. And I think what's lost in it is we forget that a large part of New Orleans are children.
Raising children, traumatized people, raising traumatized people, because a lot of trauma is unaddressed, and all we do is continue to persevere and be resilient. That's why I hate the word “resiliency”, because people throw it around like it's a bandaid for bullet wounds. It's crazy to me. I, for one, I'm tired of being resilient.
I want a fully resourced community, fully resourced schools, fully resourced program so that people don't have to be resilient. They can go somewhere and get the tools and the resources necessary to thrive instead of just trying to exist in the community that continues to beat you down and then turn around and tell you how strong you are.
I don't want to be strong. I want to be able to live and thrive in a world that affords me the opportunity to not have it all together and to know where I can go when I don't have it all together. And yes, there are. Programs and organizations that are geared strictly for boys. And I know with Son of a Saint, you have to not have the male parent in the in the home alive, right.
To be a one of the precursors to being in inside of their program. So they're targeting a specific subset of children. I know with the silver bags they go into schools and then they mentor and they do all of these things, but nobody's asking, are we offering or extending these services to parents who may not be equipped?
A lot of the times parents think physically, Correcting their children is discipline. And what I will tell you is when you hit on your child in the name of trying to correct a behavior, the only thing that you're teaching them is that if I do this, then my parent is gonna respond violently.
And all that is gonna do is cultivate an environment of violence that's in, then it's gonna be perpetuated on our community, which is happening. And I do think for me, I was very quiet on a lot of the conversation that was happening because it's triggering for me. I think people don't realize that most of the work people do it is almost like therapy for a lot of the things that they've endured.
And so I think, I love on children the way I love on children because I'm trying to love the child who I once was, whom nobody protected. I was molested by my mother's at the time. My, my aunt at the time, boyfriend. Baby daddy, they had two kids together and I used to watch their children, so she can work.
I was molested by him. Not only did they not believe me, they put me in an institution. She married him, had three more children and they had me in the wedding. So imagine, as an adult, I'm looking back on that, like, how the hell did my mama let that happen to me? What the hell was going on with my gr?
These are the things that I cannot rationalize in my brain. So the only way that I can heal that part of me is to be a better adult to the children who need me to be a better adult for them. Because there are a lot of people who dropped the ball in protecting the child that I was, which is why I wasn't saying anything, listening to that.
Because I often have a lot to say, but I, it's just this conversation is som is just layered and it's so heavy and it's so many factors and it's so many things, but at the heart of it, At the heart of everything that we're talking about is this, the conditioning for black people to not love and value black people.
Because if we did, then we would love and protect each other, whether we were bonded by community or by blood. It's just that, it's just that simple. When you talk about village and communal as the young lady was speaking about earlier we've lost sight of that. We have adopted this individualistic mentality, and as long as I'm good, my household is good, my child is good, he goes to a good school.
We have a good car. We ignore everything that's happening around us until it happens to us. That's why we care nothing about violence until it actually touches us. And so I, I would say none of the things we're talking about girls being unprotected, boys Being funneled in, into the juvenile justice system and then to the criminal penal institutions and girls being hypersexualized and open to molestation.
None of these things will happen. If at the heart of who we were, we went back to what kept us together as a unit. And that was trying to survive in a white supremacist world, right? Because we knew if we didn't stick together, we would not survive. Somehow we've lost those ideals and those principles, and now we're adopting, the same ideology that put us into slavery.
We've adopted it for ourselves and we use it against our own people. Black children will be protected if black adults were better, better at adulting, black adults will be better if they were not misused as children because all we do when we break children is they grow up to be broken adults and all of that unhealed stuff trickles down to their children.
I can't give you what I don't have. And a lot of our parents do not have the capacity to parent in the way that is going to cultivate a productive citizen. We parent out of survival. We parent out of desperation. We don't parent out of sustainability or thriving or com or community or relying on people because the last thing we wanna do is ask for help because somehow people have conditioned us to think that's weakness.
When I believe it's a whole lot of strength to tell somebody you're struggling to ask for help, to humble yourself enough to say, I cannot do this alone. That takes strength, but we. As a society, as a people, as a community, we have inherited a lot of the thinking and principles of other folk.
And we have adopted those principles for ourselves. And now all we're doing is chasing something. And we don't care how many people we leave behind because we're chasing independence. We're chasing more money, we're chasing better jobs, and we're not thinking about all of the people we're harming in that chase and all of the people we're ignoring in that chase until all of those people come and they start to put all of that neglect and all of that lack of on us, which is what is happening to our children.
I talk about the African proverb all the time. The children who are not embraced by the village will burn it down to a feeling warm. That is what's happening when people are not seeing her valued and comforted and uplifted. They're going to go into desperation mode. And desperation brings on all the things that we do not want for ourselves.
So for me, it is very simple. It is our duty to fight for our freedom, and it's our duty to win. But it is also our duty to love and protect one another. And until we get back to that as a basis of who we are as people, all of these things we're talking about are not only going to perpetuate themselves, but they're going to eat us whole and alive.
And there will be no more to try to fight for if we don't start fighting now. And I'm sorry that went left, but for me that's what it's about. It's about the village. It's about each one, teach one. It's about, if I have it, you don't. I'm gonna give it to you. You know it. We all need somebody at some point.
We cannot do life alone. We just cannot. We have to get out of this individualistic mentality and get back to the village because that is what sustained us years and years ago when we had, we didn't have a pot. The pissing or window to throw it out of that is what's going to sustain us now and carry us forward.
We have to get back to that. So how do we protect each other? We have to first love each other. And I'm talking unapologetically, love each other. And that means correcting each other when we step outta line. That means helping to feed me If I'm hungry, that means giving me a ride if I'm walking.
That's what it means. We have to get back today. And it's going to take work because we didn't get into this position overnight. But it's possible and it could be done. And for me, that is how I live my life. I want to be a testament to what love and forgiveness and correction and, just working towards better will do for society, particularly a down-trodden society or a beat-down group of people.
We gotta get back to loving each other unapologetically. Stop being afraid to correct each other. Stop taking things so personally. There's love and correction. Correct me if I'm wrong, snatch me if I'm outta line. I want you to do that for me because that signifies that you care about me. Cuz if you didn't care, you just let me do.
Whatever and keep looking crazy out here, but correct me. Love me enough to correct me. So yeah, I went left y'all, but yeah that's what I think.
Pepper Roussel: It's straight church this morning. Thank y'all. We don't even know. All right, so you ain't going left. You went straight, sister. Thank you for all of that.
Thank you.
Pepper Roussel: Do we have any questions that have not been asked? Please drop 'em in the chat. Raise your hand. Let me know what we gotta do, what y'all wanna know before I just extend most heartfelt thanks. It's been a rough week. In fact, it's been a rough while and I appreciate absolutely everything that y'all brought to this conversation today. You just don't even know. Thank you. Oh, Alfreda Tillman Bester.
Alfreda Tillman Bester: Good morning everybody. I, first let me say thank you to these beautiful women and thank you for sharing your stories and unapologetically standing up for community and for our children.
Thank you. I often tell people that the work that we do, this is hard work. Not hard. It's hard too, but it is hard work because nobody would choose to do this, right? We ju we do it because we have to. It's just like Jeremiah said, it's like fire that's shut up in our bones. We have to act on it.
And so thank you so very much. Pep. I wanted to take just a moment of personal privilege, if you don't mind this morning. And I wanna ask all of my vulnerable communities and people's initiative, people to just raise your electronic hand for just a second. Your electronic hand is Isabella. Miss is Those of you who are with Southern University Law Centers, vulnerable communities, and People's initiative, Ms. Shirley, all right. They're a little slow with the electronics, but I love them. Anyway, Pep , I want you to look at these beautiful people. Ms. Shirley, did you get that hand? There it is. There. No she's clapping, but she's there she is. I want you to look at these beautiful people and help me to thank them for doing God's work for the last three years they have been in the community.
I know that you guys have said to me, some of you we're, you guys are everywhere. It's, we're everywhere because we love the people of this city. We love the people of this state. And I'm saying all that to you today to let you know that Southern University Law Center, And our primary funder have decided that they wanted to do things a little differently, and they're going in a different direction, is what they said to me.
And so all of these beautiful people who have their hands raised, I am losing them on today. I am obviously devastated by that because the work, right? It's hard to find people who love people and who, it doesn't matter who that person is, if they're, if as I often say, because of the way that I grew up in Hattiesburg, Mississippi, it, these people talk to the guy that's standing around the barrel to stay warm and they will go and they will talk to the governor.
It is it, or whomever else, it doesn't matter. Everybody in between. And so I wanna say a heartfelt thank you to every one of them in front of all of you, to let you know also that, that, it's gonna be hard to get rid of us because we, even whether we're doing this work or we're doing something else, we're gonna be here.
I know y'all can't get rid of me and Dr. Bell. We just we're just like a bad rash. We're gonna stay around. But the rest of them also, tier Attorney Tier Branson Ms. Shirley Johnson, who was our human services manager, miss Isabella Baker, who was our human services our human services liaison in the community.
And Dr. Kimberly Lamont was also on the call. She had to leave, but she was on the call as well. And then we had our other young attorney, Ms. Kayla Dixon. But you guys saw all of our interns over the last three years and I, they're so numerous. They're too numerous to name. But thank you for allowing us to be a part of this as a Southern University Law Center representative.
But even if we're not Southern University Law Center representatives, we will be around. So thank you so very much and please keep my folk in your prayers. I know y'all know that they, all of them represent excellence. And so if you have something that you need somebody excellent to do, you can contact me and I'll give you one of these people.
I'll put you in contact with one of these people because they are fantastic. So thank you so very much for this opportunity, for the personal privilege. I appreciate you all.
Pepper Roussel: Of course, Dr. Bester . Of course. I appreciate all of you. I. The community of capillary region is much better for the work that y'all have done, and just appreciate y'all yeah, the work that you've done thus far.
And do please take down Casey's email address if you don't have it. For things, doing the things.
Alfreda Tillman Bester:The other thing that I wanted to do if you don't mind, Pep, is I'm gonna put my personal email in the slot so that you can continue to send it to Southern University Law Center.
I'm the only one that's gonna be left for right now. So you can continue to send things to me there, but I would, I'm gonna give you my personal one as well, if you would just duplicate it and send it to both places for now, without a doubt. Without a doubt. All right. So there shifting back real quick, wanna make sure that we have all the questions that are answered.
There were a couple of resources. So there was a question about resources and readings that are recommended for changing the paradigm in our homes. There are some answers that are popping up in the chat, so please go and check those out. There was also, thank you Tekoa, for dropping a meditation in the chat and a recommendation, I wanna say it was from Morgan to just because the conversation is so heavy and it is so triggering.
So please just take a moment to ground yourself to do a little bit of deep breathing and to ensure that you take care of yourself on this fine Friday. And so with that, I wanna make sure that I do thank the speakers again. Y'all have no idea. You have given me all of the light on this Friday. The fact that y'all showed up, showed out and all, y'all might think we went a little bit left.
You might think that you're on your soapbox. I think that this was a conversation that absolutely needed to be had, mainly because we do not spend enough time giving attention, giving flowers, giving love, and even communicating the struggles that black girls and women endure. Meanwhile, we are showing up and showing out for absolutely everybody who ain us, and we don't always get that in return.
So thank you. Thank you for lifting your voice, for sharing it, and for giving these moments. Appreciate it. So with that said we are already a little bit over time. I don't wanna I feel like I wanna stay and talk with y'all, but that's a, it's a little bit selfish. I'm a. I'm okay with that. I'm an only child.
I'm a little selfish. Anyway.
Casey Phillips: Pepper. May I just for a second please. I'd like to encourage you to be selfish. I'd love to hear just any final words from all the speakers. If it's okay in the community announcements, please just put 'em into the chat. We're happy to come support. I would like just to hear a little bit more from the speakers so that they can close out properly.
Thank y'all so much.
Ashana Bigard: I just wanna say thank you to Pepper and Ashanta and Nicole. Y'all are awesome. Y'all know I just love y'all. Worship y'all. Awesome. But also like we, even when we talk about men training our young boys and men and parents we have to check in and make sure that, cuz sometimes our men are giving our boys the wrong messages.
Like they're giving them those messages from, Way back in the day. And it's that's not going to that is no longer the message. The message is you have to be a whole human being. You have to show up a grownup who's kind and caring and loving. If you want any kind of partner, that's how you should show up.
And you gotta work on self first. But if that's not the message, I, we just gotta, we have to check in more because sometimes we'll send people to help people and they will help them to a problem. So all that to say, we gotta check-in. And I love what everybody said, we gotta love our self.
We gotta love each other. But also that's accountability. So y'all school people, they coming, a lot of the people from New Orleans are coming y'all way.
Nicole Deggins: I would just say I would piggyback off of Dr. Wyatt, it's, this is about loving each other. We hurt ourselves and we hurt each other because we don't love ourselves and we don't love each other in the real way of loving ourselves and our communities.
So we have to continue to push the envelope, have the tough questions, point the fingers, call people in, have the tough conversations, out of love, all out of love in the work that I do. Many people are angry at obstetricians, angry at the hospital, angry at the government. And I always say that we must do this work from a place of love.
Not because we hate the hospital, not because we hate the system, but because we love black people, because we love ourselves, because we love our families. And when we move from a place of love, it shifts everything in how we show up and how we are able to continue to move ourselves through the work. And don't forget to do your own self-care because without our own personal healing, we cannot continue to push this type of work forward.
Thank you for having me.
Dr. Ashonta Wyatt: Oh, that was so nice. It's been a pleasure. It's always good when you can share space with other dynamic women and just live in their the love of what they do for community. It's always good. I think it's also our duty to create safer, more culturally relevant and less violent environments for our children.
And I think with the media and music and everything that our children are so engrossed in and the messaging in that, it perpetuates violence, it perpetuates hypersexuality. So I think we have to do more to counter all of the messaging that is happening to our kids.
With that device that they hold in their hands twenty four seven, that phone. And so just having those conversations I have it with my son all the time. I am the proud mother of one black child a boy. And he's 17 years old. And I let him listen to music. But we also have conversations about music being strictly for entertainment purposes only.
This is not, some sort of virtual reality where you could live in the things that these people are singing on the on, on tracks and stuff. Cause I love music. Shout out to juvenile in New Orleans. His tiny desk drops today in a couple hours. Y'all should check that out. But I love music.
I also love people, and I also love. And I think a lot about who I am. And because I was harmed so deeply on, on so many levels, I tried to love my way out of the pain and love my way into a more healing space. I just started therapy. I think everybody should have a therapist. I just started and I didn't understand how much I needed it until I started doing it.
And so for me, I think it is our duty to create safer, more culturally relevant, less violent spaces for our kids. And you would be surprised at how many children have never been hugged, have never been told, I love you. They just never happened. And so I think that it's our duty to reinforce.
What we want for us and our children, we need to reinforce it for our community and its children. And that is the only way that we are going to find our way to better is that everything we want and desire for ourselves and our families, our homes, and our kids, we make certain that the environments in which we're living our kids in those environments and in this community have access to that same love and those same resources and those same opportunities.
And that's just the long short of it. Do unto others as you would have people do unto you. If it's not good enough for your children, don't give it to mine. If you wouldn't eat it, don't feed it to me. It's just that simple. So that's the, that's what I'll leave you with, be what you want to other people be that example first and then, hopefully it will become contagious and everybody will start to, to be.
What they want others to be to them. And we'll have a much better environment, a safer environment for not only black girls, but for black people in the community at large.
Truth. Thank y'all so much. And I appreciate you staying a little bit longer to share those words, to give those words of wisdom as we go into this long weekend. I don't necessarily celebrate July the fourth, but I am all about a cookout, so give me up. Otherwise thank y'all for dropping the community announcements in the chat and I again, love that you spent your time with me every Friday that you spend your time with me every Friday, and I will see y'all back here next Friday.
Those of you who will join, same bad time, same bad Chan. Have a great weekend. Thank you for having me. Thank you ma'am. Having me. Pepper, thank you so much. Thanks Ashana. Appreciate you.
Zoom Chat
08:35:02 From Manny Patole to Everyone:
Sorry, didn’t mean to bring the mood down this Friday before a holiday weekend.
08:35:18 From Camila Valenzuela (Capital Area STEM) to Everyone:
Good morning, all! Looking forward to today's meeting!
08:35:36 From Alfreda Tillman Bester, SULC to Everyone:
You DID NOT, Manny! You just gave FACTS!!!
08:35:56 From Morgan Udoh (She/Her/They) to Everyone:
Replying to "Sorry, didn’t mean t…"
Truths are truths. No need to apologize. ❤️
08:36:01 From One Rouge to Everyone:
Good Morning, OneRouge!
08:36:21 From Casey Phillips to Everyone:
Reacted to "Truths are truths. N..." with ❤️
08:36:22 From One Rouge to Everyone:
Reacted to "Truths are truths. N..." with ‼️
08:36:23 From Katrina Ward - BREC to Everyone:
safe place and I am sure everyone is already on those thoughts... hard conversations are never enjoyable, but we choose to learn from them1
08:36:34 From Casey Phillips to Everyone:
Reacted to "safe place and I am ..." with ❤️
08:36:35 From Morgan Udoh (She/Her/They) to Everyone:
Reacted to "safe place and I am …" with ❤️
08:36:46 From Tekoah Boatner, she/her to Everyone:
Facts. There are no safe places in our society
08:37:04 From Aimee Moles to Everyone:
Im horrified at our Supreme court
08:37:09 From Camila Valenzuela (Capital Area STEM) to Everyone:
Reacted to "safe place and I a..." with ❤️
08:37:11 From One Rouge to Everyone:
Reacted to "Facts. There are no ..." with 😢
08:37:31 From Camila Valenzuela (Capital Area STEM) to Everyone:
Reacted to "Im horrified at ou..." with ❤️
08:38:05 From One Rouge to Everyone:
Reacted to "Im horrified at our ..." with 👍🏾
08:38:24 From Tekoah Boatner, she/her to Everyone:
Talk about it!
08:38:28 From Morgan Udoh (She/Her/They) to Everyone:
With the recent affirmative action ruling, my mind is on on the fact that if misogynoir wasn’t so pervasive, folks would have believed Black women (aka Anita Hill) back then, and Thomas wouldn’t be ruling against our protections on the regular now.
08:38:40 From One Rouge to Everyone:
Replying to "With the recent affi..."
SPEAK ON IT!
08:38:49 From Tekoah Boatner, she/her to Everyone:
Reacted to "With the recent affi..." with ❤️
08:38:52 From Casey Phillips to Everyone:
Reacted to "With the recent affi..." with ❤️
08:39:00 From Sherreta R. Harrison | MetroMorphosis to Everyone:
Replying to "With the recent affi..."
Morgan..... I haven't had my coffee yet!!!!!
08:39:00 From Casey Phillips to Everyone:
Reacted to "Im horrified at our ..." with ❤️
08:39:08 From One Rouge to Everyone:
Reacted to "Morgan..... I haven'..." with 😂
08:39:19 From Morgan Udoh (She/Her/They) to Everyone:
Reacted to "Morgan..... I haven'…" with 😂
08:41:42 From Aimee Moles to Everyone:
wow I did not know about that!
08:43:00 From Helena Williams to Everyone:
Accountability…girls have raging hormones too but we don’t act out on them
08:43:16 From Camila Valenzuela (Capital Area STEM) to Everyone:
Reacted to "Accountability…gi..." with 👍
08:43:34 From One Rouge to Everyone:
Reacted to "Accountability…girls..." with 👍🏾
08:43:46 From One Rouge to Everyone:
Replying to "Accountability…girls..."
It’s not allowed for us
08:44:10 From Tekoah Boatner, she/her to Everyone:
I would entertain that if I don't recall the entirety of school being unsafe for me
08:44:25 From Morgan Udoh (She/Her/They) to Everyone:
One day we’re gonna learn that Black Women know what’s up. And when we ignore their calls for Justice and equality, we set ourselves up for failure (and increased inequality for all) down the line. And I obvi mean that in the trans inclusive definition of Black womanhood, bc Black trans women are being absolutely decimated. We could draw a direct line from Caster Semenya to the anti-trans sports legislation now.
08:44:30 From Morgan Udoh (She/Her/They) to Everyone:
Reacted to "Accountability…girls…" with 👍🏾
08:44:43 From Tekoah Boatner, she/her to Everyone:
Reacted to "One day we’re gonna ..." with ❤️
08:44:43 From Camila Valenzuela (Capital Area STEM) to Everyone:
Reacted to "One day we’re gon..." with ❤️
08:45:06 From Morgan Udoh (She/Her/They) to Everyone:
The girls aren’t FAST. The men are literally CHASING our babies in these schools.
08:45:12 From Helena Williams to Everyone:
The social movements like “What I wore” show that doesn’t matter
08:45:12 From Tekoah Boatner, she/her to Everyone:
Reacted to "The girls aren’t FAS..." with ❤️
08:45:12 From Sherreta R. Harrison | MetroMorphosis to Everyone:
This is very complex conversation because the dominant narrative would have you thinking that raging hormones are the reason girls and women are subjected to sexual violence. But to Helena's point, women have some of the same emotions, chemical make up as men and yet we commit fewer (?) infractions....
08:45:22 From Jen Lydic-Tewell (she/her) to Everyone:
Reacted to "The girls aren’t FAS..." with 👏
08:45:40 From Esperanza Zenon to Everyone:
Tell me the state of your women and i'll tell you the state of your community (world).
08:45:50 From Sherreta R. Harrison | MetroMorphosis to Everyone:
I also think it's worth acknowledging that misogynoir is the intersection of patriarchy and racism
08:45:55 From Jen Lydic-Tewell (she/her) to Everyone:
Reacted to "Tell me the state of..." with 👏
08:46:01 From Jen Lydic-Tewell (she/her) to Everyone:
Reacted to "I also think it's wo..." with 💗
08:46:02 From Tekoah Boatner, she/her to Everyone:
Reacted to "Tell me the state of..." with ❤️
08:46:03 From Camila Valenzuela (Capital Area STEM) to Everyone:
Reacted to "Tell me the state ..." with ❤️
08:46:08 From Camila Valenzuela (Capital Area STEM) to Everyone:
Reacted to "I also think it's ..." with ❤️
08:46:10 From Tekoah Boatner, she/her to Everyone:
Reacted to "I also think it's wo..." with ❤️
08:46:17 From Alfreda Tillman Bester, SULC to Everyone:
HELLO!!!
08:46:22 From Helena Williams to Everyone:
It’s because society doesn’t label anger as an emotion
08:46:26 From Aimee Moles to Everyone:
Theyre scared of us :-)
08:46:31 From Sherreta R. Harrison | MetroMorphosis to Everyone:
The disdain for Black girls and women is a direct result of a culture that devalues women in general and dehumanizes Black folks in particular
08:46:41 From Tekoah Boatner, she/her to Everyone:
Reacted to "The disdain for Blac..." with ❤️
08:47:13 From Tekoah Boatner, she/her to Everyone:
That's a good point. Anger isn't an emotion, it's an action (according to society) and only men are allowed to display that action
08:47:37 From Morgan Udoh (She/Her/They) to Everyone:
Replying to "This is very complex…"
It’s starts with how we parent… we don’t typically parent male bodies to be focused on community, service, emotional intelligence, and control. We throw “boys will be boys” out like a fix all. Meanwhile, our boys, if you really listen, notice that they aren’t as closely guided through life, like our girls.
08:48:07 From Jen Lydic-Tewell (she/her) to Everyone:
👀 Grooming, rape culture, patriarchy are in the air and water.
08:48:18 From Sherreta R. Harrison | MetroMorphosis to Everyone:
When you already think women aren't as valuable as men and that Black folks are subhuman, then you will come up with new, cruel ways to treat Black women.
08:48:28 From Tekoah Boatner, she/her to Everyone:
Reacted to "When you already thi..." with ❤️
08:48:44 From Morgan Udoh (She/Her/They) to Everyone:
Reacted to "It’s because society…" with 💯
08:48:48 From Morgan Udoh (She/Her/They) to Everyone:
Reacted to "I also think it's wo…" with 💗
08:48:51 From Morgan Udoh (She/Her/They) to Everyone:
Reacted to "Tell me the state of…" with 👏
08:49:20 From Sherreta R. Harrison | MetroMorphosis to Everyone:
And what makes it SO dangerous is that it's taught to us as fact..... so now not only are "others" engaged in misogynoir, Black women and girls perpetuate it!
08:50:40 From Sherreta R. Harrison | MetroMorphosis to Everyone:
So we show up and vote for people who really truly don't value us or have our best interests at heart
08:50:52 From Morgan Udoh (She/Her/They) to Everyone:
Replying to "This is very complex…"
I had teenage boys telling me just last week that they were never told anything about sex Ed. They have no support beyond “wrap it up” and “don’t be wild out here”. WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?! First we fail our boys and then they develop into the very issues that we complain about.
08:51:04 From Morgan Udoh (She/Her/They) to Everyone:
Reacted to "When you already thi…" with ❤️
08:51:05 From Tekoah Boatner, she/her to Everyone:
Can we talk about how women have been socialized to use the language of sex work when teaching our girls how to relate to men?
08:51:16 From Morgan Udoh (She/Her/They) to Everyone:
Reacted to "And what makes it SO…" with 💯
08:51:29 From Morgan Udoh (She/Her/They) to Everyone:
Reacted to "Can we talk about ho…" with 👀
08:51:40 From Helena Williams to Everyone:
Replying to "Can we talk about ho..."
Say more…
08:51:57 From Aimee Moles to Everyone:
Yep that absolutely did happen
08:52:22 From Morgan Udoh (She/Her/They) to Everyone:
Omg there’s so much to unpack. This has got to be a two part convo.
08:52:28 From Sherreta R. Harrison | MetroMorphosis to Everyone:
I also wonder if some of it was out of (misguided protection)
08:53:08 From Sherreta R. Harrison | MetroMorphosis to Everyone:
If I scare girls away from being the object of Massa's affections, then she doesn't have to be subjected to the rape...????
08:53:09 From Tekoah Boatner, she/her to Everyone:
Replying to "This is very complex..."
When I trained school age kids on dvam I had the most question from boys. They really don't know how to not use violence in interpersonal relationships
08:54:22 From Tekoah Boatner, she/her to Everyone:
Facts
08:54:37 From Sherreta R. Harrison | MetroMorphosis to Everyone:
Reacted to "Omg there’s so much ..." with ❤️
08:55:08 From Helena Williams to Everyone:
When I found out how we got the term “Knocked up” 😳
08:55:49 From Sherreta R. Harrison | MetroMorphosis to Everyone:
And how many of us on this call are thinking, "Well they are sex workers, what did they expect?"
08:56:06 From Morgan Udoh (She/Her/They) to Everyone:
Let me shake the table a bit more… our intracommunal focus on protecting Black bodies is heavily focused on protecting Black males, to the detriment of Black women, because of the trauma of slavery, our ancestral matriarchy, and the patriarchy of colonialism.
08:56:13 From Tekoah Boatner, she/her to Everyone:
Replying to "And how many of us o..."
That part. We have to address our internalized isms
08:56:14 From Morgan Udoh (She/Her/They) to Everyone:
Reacted to "And how many of us o…" with 😥
08:56:21 From Morgan Udoh (She/Her/They) to Everyone:
Reacted to "That part. We have t…" with ❤️
08:56:28 From Tekoah Boatner, she/her to Everyone:
Reacted to "Let me shake the tab..." with ❤️
08:56:36 From Manny Patole to Everyone:
Very interesting view from Dr. Marisa Solomon about black sex work and connected to this work. They were a speaker for a summit I organized December 2022… https://www.socialdifference.columbia.edu/faculty-/marisa-solomon
08:56:47 From Jen Lydic-Tewell (she/her) to Everyone:
Reacted to "Very interesting vie..." with 💗
08:56:52 From Camila Valenzuela (Capital Area STEM) to Everyone:
Reacted to "Very interesting v..." with ❤️
08:56:54 From Morgan Udoh (She/Her/They) to Everyone:
Reacted to "When I trained schoo…" with 😥
08:57:36 From Sherreta R. Harrison | MetroMorphosis to Everyone:
Reacted to "That part. We have t..." with ❤️
08:57:48 From Tekoah Boatner, she/her to Everyone:
There are very few protective spaces for girls. We have the only girls TLP in the city and YET we get so few referrals for girls. Why? They get funneled into behavioral health hospitalization and that makes them ineligible for TLP services (for a limited timeframe)
08:59:34 From Helena Williams to Everyone:
DNA is affected!! Generation after generation
08:59:36 From Morgan Udoh (She/Her/They) to Everyone:
Replying to "This is very complex…"
We’ll if we weren’t so misogynistic, we wouldn’t be so homophobic, and therefore wouldn’t be training our boys from a young age to hate and hide the soft/supportive/communal sides of themselves. When we box boys into aggression, individualism, and hypersexuality as their only allowed states, we create our own issues down the line.
08:59:51 From Helena Williams to Everyone:
There is a reason why more women have auto-immune issues! Stress literally kills the body
08:59:55 From Morgan Udoh (She/Her/They) to Everyone:
Reacted to "There are very few p…" with 😲
08:59:57 From Tekoah Boatner, she/her to Everyone:
Reacted to "We’ll if we weren’t ..." with ❤️
09:00:08 From Tekoah Boatner, she/her to Everyone:
Reacted to "There is a reason wh..." with ❤️
09:00:26 From Tekoah Boatner, she/her to Everyone:
Poor maternal health outcomes, lack of affordable childcare, housing and employment...it's a web of instability
09:00:47 From Sherreta R. Harrison | MetroMorphosis to Everyone:
*snaps*
09:01:05 From Morgan Udoh (She/Her/They) to Everyone:
“Ish be rough sometimes for people” BARS 💯
09:01:06 From Tekoah Boatner, she/her to Everyone:
Man...I had the same experience smh
09:01:14 From Tekoah Boatner, she/her to Everyone:
Reacted to "“Ish be rough someti..." with ❤️
09:01:14 From One Rouge to Everyone:
Reacted to "“Ish be rough someti..." with ‼️
09:02:14 From Helena Williams to Everyone:
We got to retrain society to BELIEVE WOMEN!!
09:02:34 From Alfreda Tillman Bester, SULC to Everyone:
We are here for TRUTH! Thank you to all of our speakers.
09:02:42 From Camila Valenzuela (Capital Area STEM) to Everyone:
Reacted to "We are here for TR..." with ❤️
09:02:46 From Camila Valenzuela (Capital Area STEM) to Everyone:
Reacted to "We got to retrain ..." with ❤️
09:02:59 From Nicole Sista Midwife Deggins to Everyone:
Reacted to "We are here for TRUT..." with ❤️
09:03:01 From Nicole Sista Midwife Deggins to Everyone:
Reacted to "We got to retrain so..." with ❤️
09:03:04 From Nicole Sista Midwife Deggins to Everyone:
Reacted to "“Ish be rough someti..." with ❤️
09:03:52 From Aimee Moles to Everyone:
that is so interesting and complex. Thanks for sharing this
09:04:02 From Alexis Philllips to Everyone:
Reacted to "We got to retrain so…" with ❤️
09:04:16 From Morgan Udoh (She/Her/They) to Everyone:
Replying to "We got to retrain so…"
Can’t do that while simultaneously gendering the hell out of childhood. Girls are now allowed to dip into the “boy” side but we still loudly disdain boys for dipping into the “girl” side. We teach them early with this nonsense that women/girls and anything related to them are bad.
09:04:25 From Tekoah Boatner, she/her to Everyone:
Doulas (and peer navigator) are the most underutilized resources
09:04:29 From Nicole Sista Midwife Deggins to Everyone:
Reacted to "DNA is affected!! Ge..." with 🙌🏾
09:04:30 From Camila Valenzuela (Capital Area STEM) to Everyone:
Reacted to "Can’t do that whi..." with ❤️
09:04:33 From Alexis Philllips to Everyone:
Reacted to "Can’t do that while …" with ❤️
09:04:40 From Morgan Udoh (She/Her/They) to Everyone:
Did I just hear that capitalism is the root…👀
09:04:47 From Tekoah Boatner, she/her to Everyone:
Reacted to "Can’t do that while ..." with ❤️
09:04:48 From Sherreta R. Harrison | MetroMorphosis to Everyone:
Reacted to "Did I just hear that..." with 😂
09:04:56 From One Rouge to Everyone:
Reacted to "Did I just hear that..." with 😂
09:04:57 From Tekoah Boatner, she/her to Everyone:
Reacted to "Did I just hear that..." with 😂
09:05:06 From Camila Valenzuela (Capital Area STEM) to Everyone:
Reacted to "Did I just hear th..." with ❤️
09:05:34 From Tekoah Boatner, she/her to Everyone:
Correct!
09:05:38 From Morgan Udoh (She/Her/They) to Everyone:
YOOOOOOO
09:05:42 From Sherreta R. Harrison | MetroMorphosis to Everyone:
WAIT A MINUTE!!!!!!!
09:05:48 From Sherreta R. Harrison | MetroMorphosis to Everyone:
We are going IN!!!!!!!
09:05:51 From Tekoah Boatner, she/her to Everyone:
Listen....
09:06:01 From Helena Williams to Everyone:
Reacted to "Did I just hear that..." with 😂
09:06:37 From Helena Williams to Everyone:
WHO ARE THEY PROTECTING US FROM!
09:06:41 From Tekoah Boatner, she/her to Everyone:
The number of experienced (read:older) women advising younger women to not get married is telling...
09:06:45 From Camila Valenzuela (Capital Area STEM) to Everyone:
Reacted to "The number of expe..." with ❤️
09:06:47 From One Rouge to Everyone:
Reacted to "WHO ARE THEY PROTECT..." with ‼️
09:07:04 From Morgan Udoh (She/Her/They) to Everyone:
Reacted to "The number of experi…" with ❤️
09:07:28 From Morgan Udoh (She/Her/They) to Everyone:
it also came from the fact that women could not own property and literally had no rights. Grandma didn’t always stay married for 50 years out of love. She didn’t have options.
09:07:36 From Alexis Philllips to Everyone:
Reacted to "it also came from th…" with 👍
09:07:38 From Camila Valenzuela (Capital Area STEM) to Everyone:
Reacted to "it also came from ..." with ❤️
09:07:39 From Morgan Udoh (She/Her/They) to Everyone:
Reacted to "WHO ARE THEY PROTECT…" with ‼️
09:07:56 From One Rouge to Everyone:
Reacted to "it also came from th..." with 👍🏾
09:08:42 From Sherreta R. Harrison | MetroMorphosis to Everyone:
Can we also acknowledge that children are also viewed as commodities.... a woman's worth/value is often directly tired to her status of motherhood
09:08:43 From Morgan Udoh (She/Her/They) to Everyone:
Black capitalism will not save us from the Original flavor of capitalism
09:08:50 From Baton Rouge Area Youth Network to Everyone:
Reacted to "it also came from th..." with ❤️
09:09:06 From Tekoah Boatner, she/her to Everyone:
We are scared to build new pathways and structures (rightfully).
09:09:18 From Tekoah Boatner, she/her to Everyone:
Replying to "Black capitalism wil..."
Speak on it!!!
09:09:19 From Alfreda Tillman Bester, SULC to Everyone:
A minimum monthly household income would be a good start!
09:09:30 From Morgan Udoh (She/Her/They) to Everyone:
Replying to "Can we also acknowle…"
Yup. We are machines for dowery production.
09:09:42 From Sherreta R. Harrison | MetroMorphosis to Everyone:
SAY THAT!!!!
09:09:56 From Sherreta R. Harrison | MetroMorphosis to Everyone:
The nuclear family is somewhat of a recent invention
09:10:05 From Helena Williams to Everyone:
We are not supposed to be so isolated!!
09:10:10 From Tekoah Boatner, she/her to Everyone:
Replying to "Can we also acknowle..."
Children and women have equaled free labor in our society for too long
09:10:20 From Baton Rouge Area Youth Network to Everyone:
Reacted to "We are not supposed ..." with ❤️
09:10:54 From Tekoah Boatner, she/her to Everyone:
Reacted to "We are not supposed ..." with ❤️
09:11:01 From Baton Rouge Area Youth Network to Everyone:
I agree, Nicole. Kindness is the focus.
09:11:30 From Sherreta R. Harrison | MetroMorphosis to Everyone:
YEP!!!!
09:11:38 From Tekoah Boatner, she/her to Everyone:
That part!!!!!
09:11:47 From Morgan Udoh (She/Her/They) to Everyone:
It’s fear. It’s always fear.
09:11:53 From Sherreta R. Harrison | MetroMorphosis to Everyone:
Now we talking!!!! WHY are we so scared???
09:12:03 From One Rouge to Everyone:
I had a dress with my back out. CHILE! you could not tell me NOTHING!!!
09:12:20 From Tekoah Boatner, she/her to Everyone:
Cause we've been killed for wanting to be free. That's a core, collective trauma wound
09:12:26 From Tekoah Boatner, she/her to Everyone:
Reacted to "I had a dress with m..." with 😂
09:12:46 From Morgan Udoh (She/Her/They) to Everyone:
There’s nothing a child can say, do, wear that can make an adult that’s not already a pedophile turn into one.
09:12:49 From Sherreta R. Harrison | MetroMorphosis to Everyone:
Y'all.... I might have to tap out here.... this is HEAVY
09:12:54 From Helena Williams to Everyone:
I try so hard not to say to baby girls “Pretty girl” because we don’t do the same to baby boys
09:13:00 From One Rouge to Everyone:
Reacted to "Y'all.... I might ha..." with ♥️
09:13:04 From Tekoah Boatner, she/her to Everyone:
Replying to "Y'all.... I might ha..."
Is!
09:13:11 From Alfreda Tillman Bester, SULC to Everyone:
We are protecting our children from PREDATORS who we already know will not likely be held accountable if they hurt our children.
09:13:24 From Morgan Udoh (She/Her/They) to Everyone:
Come through!!! All we say to little girls from birth is “you’re so cute!”
09:14:00 From Morgan Udoh (She/Her/They) to Everyone:
Replying to "Y'all.... I might ha…"
((HUGS))
09:14:25 From Morgan Udoh (She/Her/They) to Everyone:
Reacted to "Cause we've been kil…" with 👆
09:14:37 From Aimee Moles to Everyone:
I used to hear that all the time from hospital patients with new babies. "I don't need anyone"
09:15:30 From Morgan Udoh (She/Her/They) to Everyone:
As for me and mine, it starts with making sure that our home, and extended family are safe spaces. And if not, removing access and/or preparing her to speak up.
09:15:51 From Nicole Sista Midwife Deggins to Everyone:
Come thru Tekoah!
09:16:02 From Sherreta R. Harrison | MetroMorphosis to Everyone:
It should be noted that through time, women and girls have been preyed upon even when they were clothed in corsets, long dresses and boots.... Clothes ain't the problem!
09:16:13 From Morgan Udoh (She/Her/They) to Everyone:
It’s starts with our language. It starts with our babies being able to tell the people closest to the NO. Loudly, often, and having it respected.
09:16:16 From Nicole Sista Midwife Deggins to Everyone:
Reacted to "It should be noted t..." with 👏🏾
09:16:29 From Morgan Udoh (She/Her/They) to Everyone:
Reacted to "It should be noted t…" with 👏🏾
09:16:34 From One Rouge to Everyone:
Reacted to "It should be noted t..." with 🎯
09:16:35 From Sherreta R. Harrison | MetroMorphosis to Everyone:
Reacted to "It’s starts with our..." with ❤️
09:16:41 From Esperanza Zenon to Everyone:
Who is working and talking to our men and boys about their thoughts and behavior so that they respect us?
09:16:48 From Alfredo Cruz to Everyone:
Thanks for sharing that story. I struggle often with the labeling the elder women in my Latinx family place in young girls who also want to just look cute and hip. It troubles me that they don't defend their granddaughters, nieces, or even daughters for being their authentic selves but instead force them to suppress themselves and not attract attention. This is common in our culture, rooted in religion and fear. Lots of trauma being created and shaping of boys' perceptions about women and girls based on how they dress.
09:17:06 From Tekoah Boatner, she/her to Everyone:
Reacted to "Come thru Tekoah!" with ❤️
09:17:12 From Alfreda Tillman Bester, SULC to Everyone:
It does no good to mandate reporters and then not fund the mechanisms and people to receive the reports. It starts with us talking to our children NONSTOP & then holding predators ACCOUNTABLE!
09:17:14 From Morgan Udoh (She/Her/They) to Everyone:
We cannot raise our children on compliance AND prepare them to be informed, decision ready people.
09:17:24 From Tekoah Boatner, she/her to Everyone:
Reacted to "It’s starts with our..." with ❤️
09:17:24 From Morgan Udoh (She/Her/They) to Everyone:
Reacted to "It does no good to m…" with 👆
09:17:33 From Morgan Udoh (She/Her/They) to Everyone:
Reacted to "Who is working and t…" with ❤️
09:17:37 From Camila Valenzuela (Capital Area STEM) to Everyone:
Reacted to "Thanks for sharing..." with ❤️
09:17:41 From Morgan Udoh (She/Her/They) to Everyone:
Reacted to "Thanks for sharing t…" with ❤️
09:17:42 From Tekoah Boatner, she/her to Everyone:
Reacted to "It should be noted t..." with 🎯
09:17:46 From Helena Williams to Everyone:
Replying to "It’s starts with our..."
And stop calling it Terrible 2s because of all the “No’s”! It’s the first time they are empowered, let them speak! And then parent without taking that empowerment away
09:17:47 From Angela R Machen - Baker to Everyone:
I was taught to be self sufficient as a woman. But I was also taught the concept of family and community. As an adult In relationships, I live by the philosophy that I don't take if I'm unable to give.
09:17:57 From Morgan Udoh (She/Her/They) to Everyone:
Reacted to "It’s starts with our…" with ❤️
09:17:58 From Morgan Udoh (She/Her/They) to Everyone:
Removed a ❤️ reaction from "It’s starts with our…"
09:17:59 From Tekoah Boatner, she/her to Everyone:
Reacted to "Who is working and t..." with ❤️
09:18:09 From Baton Rouge Area Youth Network to Everyone:
Let's make them safer by providing training to all educators and youth workers. It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men.
09:18:19 From Tekoah Boatner, she/her to Everyone:
Reacted to "Thanks for sharing t..." with ❤️
09:18:21 From Jen Lydic-Tewell (she/her) to Everyone:
We need to have the systems and protocol to deal with the perps. Beyond initial punishment, what happens when that piece is done.
09:18:28 From Tekoah Boatner, she/her to Everyone:
Reacted to "It does no good to m..." with ❤️
09:18:33 From Tekoah Boatner, she/her to Everyone:
Reacted to "We cannot raise our ..." with ❤️
09:18:38 From Sherreta R. Harrison | MetroMorphosis to Everyone:
Unfortunately, the solution to this is not simple, quick, or even externally visible..... THis is deep mindet shift work.
09:18:48 From Sherreta R. Harrison | MetroMorphosis to Everyone:
This is narrative change work.
09:18:59 From Tekoah Boatner, she/her to Everyone:
Reacted to "Let's make them safe..." with ❤️
09:19:12 From Tekoah Boatner, she/her to Everyone:
Reacted to "This is narrative ch..." with ❤️
09:19:12 From Morgan Udoh (She/Her/They) to Everyone:
Replying to "It’s starts with our…"
It’s tiresome but my baby telling the people in her world, my husband and I included “NO” is so healing to witness. And it takes a lot of uncomfortable convos with with grandparents etc.
09:19:18 From Morgan Udoh (She/Her/They) to Everyone:
Reacted to "This is narrative ch…" with ❤️
09:19:20 From Sherreta R. Harrison | MetroMorphosis to Everyone:
We'll never legislate protections for people we don't think need protecting
09:19:27 From Morgan Udoh (She/Her/They) to Everyone:
Naming things appropriately
09:19:28 From Tekoah Boatner, she/her to Everyone:
Reacted to "It’s tiresome but my..." with ❤️
09:19:28 From Baton Rouge Area Youth Network to Everyone:
Reacted to "We'll never legislat..." with ❤️
09:19:35 From Tekoah Boatner, she/her to Everyone:
Reacted to "We'll never legislat..." with ❤️
09:20:14 From Tekoah Boatner, she/her to Everyone:
We have to invite our children into our healing journey
09:20:14 From Morgan Udoh (She/Her/They) to Everyone:
We teach them to distrust their inner voice and then are surprised when they keep secrets from us. You’ve taught them that your support has boundaries!!!!
09:20:25 From Baton Rouge Area Youth Network to Everyone:
RIGHT!!!
09:20:26 From Morgan Udoh (She/Her/They) to Everyone:
PERIOD
09:20:28 From Tekoah Boatner, she/her to Everyone:
Secrets=violence
09:20:33 From Baton Rouge Area Youth Network to Everyone:
Reacted to "Secrets=violence " with ❤️
09:20:37 From Katrina Ward - BREC to Everyone:
RIGHT!
09:21:24 From Tekoah Boatner, she/her to Everyone:
Another difficult conversation: spanking your children teaches violence= love. Full stop. No there is no nuance here.
09:21:29 From Aimee Moles to Everyone:
I don't know any women in my circle who WERENT touched inappropriately by someone. We weren't taught to say no.
09:21:39 From Morgan Udoh (She/Her/They) to Everyone:
I’ve been telling my family as of late… idgaf about being a good “child/niece/sister”. I’m focused on being a good ancestor. My baby’s autonomy and safety comes first.
09:21:48 From Sherreta R. Harrison | MetroMorphosis to Everyone:
Reacted to "I’ve been telling my..." with 😢
09:21:48 From Morgan Udoh (She/Her/They) to Everyone:
Reacted to "Another difficult co…" with ❤️
09:21:49 From Casey Phillips to Everyone:
Reacted to "Another difficult co..." with ❤️
09:21:50 From Sherreta R. Harrison | MetroMorphosis to Everyone:
Removed a 😢 reaction from "I’ve been telling my..."
09:21:52 From Alexis Philllips to Everyone:
Replying to "I don't know any wom…"
Or no one listened to us when we tried to speak up
09:21:57 From Camila Valenzuela (Capital Area STEM) to Everyone:
Reacted to "I’ve been telling..." with ❤️
09:21:59 From Baton Rouge Area Youth Network to Everyone:
Reacted to "I don't know any wom..." with 🥰
09:22:00 From Sherreta R. Harrison | MetroMorphosis to Everyone:
Reacted to "I don't know any wom..." with 😢
09:22:06 From Tekoah Boatner, she/her to Everyone:
And the fact that in most cishet relationships, men are the disciplinarian so we are socialized to believe men who hit us love us
09:22:20 From Morgan Udoh (She/Her/They) to Everyone:
Replying to "Another difficult co…"
I will die on this hill every time. We prime them for domestic violence early with this nonsense.
09:22:30 From Tekoah Boatner, she/her to Everyone:
Replying to "I don't know any wom..."
Same smh
09:22:34 From Morgan Udoh (She/Her/They) to Everyone:
Reacted to "And the fact that in…" with 😥
09:22:35 From Alfredo Cruz to Everyone:
I am STILL on my journey to better understand my own misogyny and how to best honor women and girls. I am grateful to all the women who have had the courage to confront me about my words and actions being inadvertently disrespectful and undermining. I didn't know what I did t know. I'm a more aware man now, but still on the journey. Thanks for this discussion!
09:22:43 From Morgan Udoh (She/Her/They) to Everyone:
Reacted to "I am STILL on my jou…" with ❤️
09:22:46 From Tekoah Boatner, she/her to Everyone:
Reacted to "I’ve been telling my..." with ❤️
09:22:46 From Camila Valenzuela (Capital Area STEM) to Everyone:
Reacted to "I am STILL on my j..." with ❤️
09:23:00 From Tekoah Boatner, she/her to Everyone:
Reacted to "I am STILL on my jou..." with ❤️
09:23:21 From Morgan Udoh (She/Her/They) to Everyone:
Replying to "I am STILL on my jou…"
It’s socialized. So we can socialize it out. Well done sir! ❤️
09:23:23 From Tekoah Boatner, she/her to Everyone:
Say that!!!
09:23:31 From Nicole Sista Midwife Deggins to Everyone:
Reacted to "I am STILL on my jou..." with ❤️
09:23:36 From Tekoah Boatner, she/her to Everyone:
Yep
09:23:45 From Nicole Sista Midwife Deggins to Everyone:
Reacted to "I’ve been telling my..." with ❤️
09:24:01 From Nicole Sista Midwife Deggins to Everyone:
Reacted to "Another difficult co..." with ❤️
09:24:10 From Nicole Sista Midwife Deggins to Everyone:
Replying to "Another difficult co..."
TEACH THAT!!!
09:24:20 From Alexis Philllips to Everyone:
Reacted to "Another difficult co…" with ❤️
09:24:21 From Nicole Sista Midwife Deggins to Everyone:
Reacted to "Secrets=violence " with ❤️
09:24:29 From Tekoah Boatner, she/her to Everyone:
Reacted to "I will die on this h..." with ❤️
09:24:32 From Tekoah Boatner, she/her to Everyone:
Reacted to "TEACH THAT!!!" with ❤️
09:24:49 From Nicole Sista Midwife Deggins to Everyone:
Reacted to "Unfortunately, the s..." with 👏🏾
09:25:29 From Morgan Udoh (She/Her/They) to Everyone:
The trauma of Katrina and now the trauma of the flood of 2016 and COVID need to be problem solved now because the babies are not okay. And they know they are not okay. They want help and they see everyone around them struggling mentally and self-medicating as well.
09:26:02 From Tekoah Boatner, she/her to Everyone:
Reacted to "The trauma of Katrin..." with ❤️
09:26:23 From Casey Phillips to Everyone:
Reacted to "I am STILL on my jou..." with ❤️
09:26:49 From Alexis Philllips to Everyone:
Oh my god
09:27:05 From Alexis Philllips to Everyone:
Yes
09:27:10 From Tekoah Boatner, she/her to Everyone:
Yes...healers are seeking to heal others to help heal themselves
09:27:16 From Alexis Philllips to Everyone:
Reacted to "Yes...healers are se…" with ❤️
09:27:18 From Baton Rouge Area Youth Network to Everyone:
Reacted to "Yes...healers are se..." with 🥰
09:27:42 From Tekoah Boatner, she/her to Everyone:
Exactly
09:28:03 From Morgan Udoh (She/Her/They) to Everyone:
(Given the triggering nature of this convo… please take a moment now or after to slow down your breath, touch the ground with your feet, and feel the sunlight on your skin. Help your inner child to cope by taking a moment.)
09:28:07 From Morgan Udoh (She/Her/They) to Everyone:
Reacted to "Yes...healers are se…" with ❤️
09:28:28 From Casey Phillips to Everyone:
Reacted to "(Given the triggerin..." with ❤️
09:28:31 From One Rouge to Everyone:
Reacted to "(Given the triggerin..." with ❤️
09:28:35 From Alfredo Cruz to Everyone:
Reacted to "(Given the triggerin..." with ❤️
09:28:35 From Camila Valenzuela (Capital Area STEM) to Everyone:
Reacted to "(Given the trigger..." with ❤️
09:29:05 From Tekoah Boatner, she/her to Everyone:
https://youtu.be/jce4cOEGesI
09:29:21 From Tekoah Boatner, she/her to Everyone:
Quick meditation for anyone who needs it after the call 😊
09:29:27 From Tekoah Boatner, she/her to Everyone:
Reacted to "(Given the triggerin..." with ❤️
09:29:30 From One Rouge to Everyone:
Reacted to "Quick meditation for..." with ♥️
09:29:32 From Baton Rouge Area Youth Network to Everyone:
Reacted to "Quick meditation for..." with 🥰
09:29:32 From Nicole Sista Midwife Deggins to Everyone:
Reacted to "Quick meditation for..." with ♥️
09:29:39 From Katrina Ward - BREC to Everyone:
SUCH Powerful conversations... a whole day is needed on this open conversation!
ON another note - BREC is seeking input from ALL residents in EBR Parish on our next system master plan, which is our roadmap for the next ten years! Please take a moment and fill out this survey! Spread the word!! Any questions or comments please let me know!
kcoots@brec.org
https://survey.sogolytics.com/survey1.aspx?k=RQsRTSSRYsQSRsPsPsP&lang=0
09:29:40 From One Rouge to Everyone:
Replying to "Quick meditation for..."
Thank you!
09:30:37 From Morgan Udoh (She/Her/They) to Everyone:
Reacted to "Quick meditation for…" with ♥️
09:30:41 From Tekoah Boatner, she/her to Everyone:
Yes!!!!
09:31:21 From Morgan Udoh (She/Her/They) to Everyone:
❤️❤️❤️
09:31:28 From Manny Patole to Everyone:
Reacted to "❤️❤️❤️" with 🙌
09:31:38 From Tekoah Boatner, she/her to Everyone:
Cannot!
09:31:41 From Alfredo Cruz to Everyone:
Reacted to "❤️❤️❤️" with 🙌
09:32:38 From Baton Rouge Area Youth Network to Everyone:
Amen!
09:32:53 From Tekoah Boatner, she/her to Everyone:
Discipline means teaching
09:33:02 From Baton Rouge Area Youth Network to Everyone:
Reacted to "Discipline means tea..." with ❤️
09:33:19 From Morgan Udoh (She/Her/They) to Everyone:
Reacted to "Discipline means tea…" with ❤️
09:33:41 From Alfredo Cruz to Everyone:
And THAT is the community I'm fully onboard to build here with this OneRouge village! Thank you for that vision!
09:33:43 From Dr. Ashonta Wyatt to Everyone:
Reacted to "(Given the triggerin…" with ❤️
09:33:44 From Debra Stampley, Southeast Comm Hlth. Sys. to Everyone:
🙏
09:33:47 From Morgan Udoh (She/Her/They) to Everyone:
What are the resources/readings that our speakers recommend for changing the paradigm in our homes to affect our community?
09:34:09 From Tewabetch Negatu, PhD (she/her) to Everyone:
I have to jump off. But this was amazing. Thank you all!
09:34:27 From Morgan Udoh (She/Her/They) to Everyone:
Replying to "What are the resourc…"
For me it’s the Parenting Decolonized podcast
09:34:44 From Tekoah Boatner, she/her to Everyone:
Reacted to "For me it’s the Pare..." with ❤️
09:35:30 From iPhone (2) to Everyone:
Reacted to "For me it’s the Pare…" with ❤️
09:36:48 From Dr. Ashonta Wyatt to Everyone:
Replying to "What are the resourc…"
Check out the work of Dr. Monique W. Morris with the National Black Women’s Justice Institute
09:37:33 From Tekoah Boatner, she/her to Everyone:
Replying to "What are the resourc..."
The Conscious Parent by Dr. Shefali is a good resource
09:37:50 From Manny Patole to Everyone:
Thank you for all the work you have done and the inspired work you have created.
09:37:54 From Casey Phillips to Everyone:
Respect and appreciation for the work you all do. Each of you please drop us your personal email so we can invite you into this space and opportunity to engage in an even larger capacity with OneRouge.
09:38:06 From Manny Patole to Everyone:
Reacted to "Respect and apprecia..." with 👍
09:38:20 From Dr. Ashonta Wyatt to Everyone:
awyatt1999@yahoo.com
09:38:22 From Casey Phillips to Everyone:
Please contact me for future opportunities - casey@thewallsproject.org
09:38:44 From iPhone (2) to Everyone:
Reacted to "Respect and apprecia…" with 👍
09:38:52 From Ashana Bigard to Everyone:
Thank you All ❤️
09:39:17 From Alfreda Tillman Bester, SULC to Everyone:
ATillmanBester@cox.net
09:39:42 From Dr. Ashonta Wyatt to Everyone:
Reacted to "I don't know any wom…" with 😔
09:39:54 From Nicole Sista Midwife Deggins to Everyone:
SistaMidwife.com
09:40:01 From Nicole Sista Midwife Deggins to Everyone:
ContactUs@SistaMidwife.com
09:40:07 From Nicole Sista Midwife Deggins to Everyone:
@Sistamidwife on IG
09:40:21 From Camila Valenzuela (Capital Area STEM) to Everyone:
What a powerful and important discussion that needed to be had, thank you all for sharing! The future is full of hope and bright <3
09:40:43 From Jen Lydic-Tewell (she/her) to Everyone:
NP org that teaches adults how to prevent and interrupt child sexual abuse: https://www.d2l.org/
09:41:14 From Manny Patole to Everyone:
All, have a great weekend :-)
09:42:06 From One Rouge to Everyone:
Not liking women is not a “way back in the day” message. IJS
09:42:19 From Tekoah Boatner, she/her to Everyone:
Reacted to "Not liking women is ..." with ❤️
09:42:52 From Morgan Udoh (She/Her/They) to Everyone:
Yep. We also have to mindful, and give me grace yall, on how our religious leadership orgs are teaching the direct opposite of equality and liberation.
09:43:02 From iPhone (2) to Everyone:
Reacted to "Yep. We also have to…" with 👍
09:43:14 From Casey Phillips to Everyone:
Reacted to "Yep. We also have to..." with 👍
09:43:21 From Jan Ross - Wilson Foundation to Everyone:
Wilson Foundation will host a Capacity Building Institute for nonprofits starting in September. To register go to: https://www.hawilsonfoundation.org/strategicplan/cbi/ Any question please reach out to me at 225-292-1344 janross@hwilson.org
09:44:55 From Nicole Sista Midwife Deggins to Everyone:
Reacted to "Yep. We also have to..." with 👍
09:45:23 From Aimee Moles to Everyone:
The supreme court just did it again :-(
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